Life has seasons. I am not sure where this concept came from, something we read at some point, but I am mindful of this idea as we come into spring this year. The key point that this metaphor highlights is that things are always changing. When we are at a challenging point in our lives and things seem overwhelming, it is a comfort to remember that it is the natural course of things to change. And it is my belief that focusing on positive things and growth shapes this change in a positive direction. Also, when things are wonderful, it is OK to let go of the exact details of the moment and allow for something even more incredible to come into our lives. Often by clinging to the recreation of some happy time in our lives we stifle our own growth and limit the possibilities.
We have been through quite a few seasons together and that is nice thing to have in common. We had our courtship season full of all the sweet newness of getting to know one another, our newlywed season, our growing up together season, our new parents season, our parents of two season, our parents of three season, and now I think we are in our self-rediscovery season. It is a bit of challenge, I think for us to be moving into this new season of reconnecting with ourselves while still very much being in the parents of three season. But it’s a season and it will change, and it has its own wonder and joy to be savored as well.
It is in the acceptance and enjoyment of each season as it is happening that contentment lies. Looking back at previous seasons, we often feel nostalgic for that simpler time, or some aspect of that past time. However, when in the midst of the past season we may have felt restless, frustrated and ready to move out of the season. So, although it is not always easy and I am not always able to maintain a completely positive outlook, I think it is really important to enjoy the season we are in and savor its own type of sweetness and to look at what it has to teach us. For it is out of this optimistic and grateful space that we can create the next seasons to be what will be best for our happiness and growth.
I also like this metaphor because it ties our lives to the natural world that cycles through its stunning transformations year after year. Getting out into our little backyard and taking care of it little by little, year after year is very gratifying each spring when it bursts into life a bit more beautiful for our tending and nurturing – much like our relationship and our family life.
Denise Said
The little bit by little bit part is an idea that I’ve been mulling over lately. Only I’ve been calling it brick by brick. I remember thinking in the newlywed season that we were building a foundation for our marriage to stand upon. My figuratively-speaking vision of our marriage was to build a strong foundation. Some of the bricks were strong, and the correct brick shape, and some had cracks that we needed to either cement together again, or just take out of the foundation and replace with a new brick finally after trying things that didn’t work. The phrase “Rome wasn’t built in a day” is true. It was a process building it a little bit at a time.
As we continue to build each day, I like the seasonal reminders to see how far we’ve come. Eighteen years ago around the middle of April we conceived our first baby. When the daffodils open (or tax day arrives) this seasonal reminder of “Look how far we’ve come” or “Look at what we’ve built” emerges with those blossoms. It also reminds me of how grateful I am to not be pregnant and nauseous too, yet I have to say that even through those really difficult months tremendous growth happened for me, for us. It was a major change of season. There’s always upheaval around a season of change and it often doesn’t feel good. That’s the metamorphosis process. Sometimes it’s nice to look back from where’ve been to the here and take stock how much we’ve built brick-by-brick, little bit by little bit.
Max, it does make me happy that you are making a conscious effort to enjoy the season you are in right now, although it might be one of your more challenging ones. So much shifts in ourselves with acceptance and we enjoy the season we are in all the more.
beautiful photos to go with the beautiful words!
ReplyDeletei was catching on this blog tonight precisely because i am in the midst of one of those momentary squabbles mentioned in "partners vs cowboys" -- the April posts were just what I needed to read at this very moment, thank you!