23 years of marriage… Well that’s the official number, but I think we’ve been married at the soul level for more like 25. Anyway, wow!
This has been a powerful week for us as a couple and I am mostly just overwhelmed with gratitude for having had you in my life for all of these years. It feels like we are always learning new things about one another and the relationship that we share. We never stop growing, as individuals and as a couple.
I think one of the most profound lessons that has come to the surface in a new way for me this week is the importance of gratitude. For reasons that I have talked about in previous blog posts, we, as a culture, tend to spend a good portion of our energy on wanting. Wanting things, wanting experiences, wanting new relationships, wanting our partners to change to better suit our needs, etc. The problem here is that in the end we inevitably end up wanting something that is out of our reach and therefore live with the feeling that something is missing, that we cannot truly be happy and satisfied.
Gratitude shifts this whole paradigm. When we stop and consciously take inventory of all the many blessings that we are showered with in our lives and say “Thank You” for these blessings, we are magically transported to true happiness with where and who we are. Because gratitude is a conscious choice in terms of interpreting the same circumstances that we could also find wanting, it is the secret key to inner-directed happiness.
And that is the other drawback with the wanting way of being. It depends on external things, people or circumstances for happiness. All of these are necessarily transient and often fleeting. How many times do you witness yourself or others obtaining some coveted thing or circumstance only to realize that it was not exactly what we thought it would be, or quickly grow bored of it and move on to the next want.
With unconditional gratitude the nexus of our happiness is shifted inwards. When we make the choice to be grateful, we are on the path of inner happiness.
So let me say, on this day to celebrate our amazing marriage, with the deepest sincerity and emotion, that I am grateful for you my love. I am grateful for your smile, your spirit, your unconditional love, your laughter, and the laughter you bring to me, for your unparalleled mothering, for your passionate nature, for your love of flowers, and beauty of all kinds, from the domestic to the rare, for the loving care you shape our home with, and for your acceptance of all that I am over all these years… I am grateful for so many more things that I cannot begin to list here.
I truly love you Denise. Thanks for another year of your love.
Denise Said
Happy Anniversary Maxwell! The years go by quickly (we realized today that it’s been two years already and the van has to be inspected again) and sometimes they mingle together that I can’t remember one year from another. This anniversary will always have a signpost next to it in my memory though as the year we went to Longwood Gardens by ourselves and meandered through the delightful gardens on a hot and sunny day. It was the same kind of weather as our wedding day actually and the day even felt like a renewal of vows in a simple way. I felt grateful to walk hand in hand, finding surprises at every turn: The Pierre DuPont Building courtyard took my breath away as I entered the room, the Italian fountain garden transported us to Italy for a while, the tunnel of rose arbors in full pink bloom where we asked someone to take our photo, the Copper Beeches we sat under to take a break from the sun, the overwhelming fragrance of the lilies in the lily extravaganza room, the majesty of the topiaries, and reflections in the water lily ponds. Then to come home to a tasty grilled chicken picnic dinner the kids made for us with homemade crème brulee for dessert made me even more thankful for what we’ve created together in our life with our family. I feel no need of want.
The shadows, the colors, the smells, the tastes, the heat, the sun, wove a beautiful tapestry of gratitude for me on this our 23rd married year together. Thank you for being my devoted and dear husband in this life. As you said to me in your card, “I think we’re getting the hang of it.” I love you too.
No comments:
Post a Comment